


Skinny Soul

by My_Reason_Why



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-20 18:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/588308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Reason_Why/pseuds/My_Reason_Why
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Yeah you try so hard to love me, feed me kisses and fatten me whole. Aren't you in for trouble? Cause I got a Skinny Soul.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Normal

“Derek?” Stiles asked as he walked into the abandoned bus depot. He knew the Alpha was here somewhere. “Derek?” He asked again moving forward. He couldn’t get the older boy out of his head. He’d come so close to dying tonight, they both had, and something like that tends to put things into perspective. The life Stiles he lived, and the creatures he lived it with, was dangerous and fast paced. One minute everything was fine and the next your at death’s door hoping for a miracle, praying to live another day. He couldn't live a life like this and keep everything to himself. Out of all the people mixed up in these things he was the most vulnerable, the most at risk. He couldn't die without being honest about his feelings, both to others and to himself.

“Derek’s not here.” A sly voice said and Erica rounded the corner. She looked amazing. Despite the Kanima attack and everything that’s happened since, she still looks amazing. Before now Stiles would've killed to be in a room with a girl who looked like her but now that he was being honest with himself about his real feelings, he knew that Erica was not the one he wanted. No girl was.

“Where is he?” Stiles asked looking around.

“He’s out with Isaac. They’re running patrol, looking for the Kanima. What are you doing here Stiles?”

“Just looking for Derek. I’ll be going now.” He said but when he turned to leave he found the Werewolf was blocking his way.

“Why don’t you stay for a little while Stiles? Be my Batman.” She smirked and stepped forward. A week ago Stiles would’ve killed for this type of moment, now all he wanted to do was run away.

“No thanks. I've got to go.” He was going to lie and say that Scott was waiting for him outside but he stopped himself quickly knowing Erica would know that he was lying. “Bye Erica.” He said as he side stepped her and walked away. He knew she’d be able to stop him if she wanted to, but she didn't. Instead she let Stiles walk out of the building her eye’s following him out.

Derek sighed as he returned back to his house. He walked up the stairs and down to the room in the house that had been the least damaged by the fire, his bedroom. He couldn't get Isaac’s question out of his head. They’d been running patrols when he and Isaac had come across his house and Isaac had asked him why he didn't move. As if moving or rebuilding was the sane or normal thing to do. It probably was. Derek had thought about trying to fix this place up before, and he knew a lot of people wondered why he didn't just bulldoze it and build something better. But the truth was Derek liked living in his ruined house. He felt like it represented him, it represented what he was inside, deep down to his soul. It represented all of his hurt, his pain and it made him remember everything that happened. It made him remember his family, how they died and how it hurt. Yes, rebuilding was probably the normal thing to do. But then again, Derek Hale had never really been normal.

Stiles ran into Derek the next day. When he said ran into, he meant ran into. They were outside the local shopping centre when it happened. Derek had been trying to enter and Stiles had been pushing his shopping cart filled to the brim with various food items when they collided with one another. “Oh my God.” Stiles said as he fell down and sprawled on the ground. “Ow.” He mumbled and looked up at Derek. Derek was standing over him glaring at him with his big bright green eyes. Stiles tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered at the sight of him and the way it did it again when Derek surprised him. He leaned down slightly and extended his hand to Stiles. Stiles took his hand gratefully and let Derek hoist him up off the ground.

“I heard you came by the depot last night.” Derek said letting go of Stiles’ hand. Stiles tried not to let the loss he felt when Derek’s hand was removed get to him.

“Uh, yeah.” Stiles said awkwardly having lost his nerve. Derek was standing so close, so damn close to him that it was hard to concentrate on anything other than the way he smelt and the heat Stiles could feel radiating off him in waves. “I uh-” He began but stopped and looked around, “Can we talk about this later? My dad’s waiting for me at home.” Derek’s eyebrows shot up slightly when he caught Stiles in the lie but he nodded anyway.

“All right. Stop by my place tonight at Midnight. I’ll be waiting.” He said and then side stepped Stiles and went into the grocery store. Stiles didn't know whether he was relieved or scared to be seeing Derek tonight. Alone. Stiles sighed. He wasn't sure. But he knew he couldn't back out, not now.


	2. One Liners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Yeah you try so hard to love me, feed me kisses and fatten me whole. Aren't you in for trouble? Cause I got a Skinny Soul.'

“Derek?” Stiles called as he pushed the door open to the Hale house, he had no idea how he was going to do this. How could you say, ‘Hey! I think I might love you!’ to the one person who may never feel the same? He knew he had to do this as he couldn't deny himself any longer, but he also knew there was no guarantee of it going his way. But then again his mother had always told him that the greatest love is the one worth fighting for. That’s what Stiles was going to do, or at least he was going to try.

“You’re heart is racing.” Derek noted as he appeared behind Stiles. Stiles jumped slightly, turned to face him and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. “You’re nervous.” Derek noted again and Stiles cheeks burned, “What’s going on?” Derek was looking at him as if he could see into his soul and Stiles found himself floundering again. He lost his train of thought and just stood there, staring like an idiot. “Are you okay?” Derek asked speaking more than Stiles had ever heard him speak, well when he wasn't threatening him that is.

“Uh - what?” Stiles asked as he mentally shook himself, “Oh um, yeah I'm fine.” He sighed, this was not going to be easy.

“What did you need to talk to me about?” He asked invading Stiles personal space again.

“I uh.. well I wanted to talk to you about …” Stiles was tongue-tied. Since when did he ever get tongue-tied? Derek looked at him impatiently.

Stiles swallowed hard and took a deep breath. There was no way he was going to be able to say this, so he took a more direct approach. He took Derek by the shoulders and, before Derek could fully grasp what he was doing, Stiles kissed him as hard as he could.

As soon as his lips collided with Derek’s he felt Derek go rigid and felt him try to begin to pull away. Stiles held on tightly forcing Derek to acknowledge what was happening. He couldn't go to his bus depot or run off into the woods and hide from this. He couldn't ignore Stiles or walk around ignorantly any more, it was time he knew the truth. So Stiles held on and after a few seconds Derek relaxed into the kiss, his mouth moving with Stiles.

He started kissing Stiles so roughly that Stiles didn't know what to do. Every fibre of his being was burning with need, longing. He wanted more. He wanted to kiss Derek, to hold him, to have Derek whisper sweet nothings into his ear and tell him everything was going to be all right. As he kissed Derek he could see it before him, the relationship was at his fingertips. But before Stiles could get too caught up in the notion Derek was pulling away.

Derek managed to squirm out from underneath Stiles’ grip, not that it would've been too hard for an Alpha. He backed away from him slowly and wiped his lips, looking at Stiles as if he’d been burned. “I-” Derek said looking at Stiles. “You should go.”

“But - But you were kissing me back!” Stiles shouted his body still burning with the heat of the kiss. “You want me just as much as I want you.”

“No I don’t Stiles. You’re just a kid. Go home, don’t come back unless you need to talk to me about something important.”

“This isn't important?” Stiles exclaimed.

“No. It’s not. Now leave, before I make you leave.”

Stiles glared, “You know for a big bad Alpha, your one liners suck.”


	3. Rubble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Yeah you try so hard to love me, feed me kisses and fatten me whole. Aren't you in for trouble? Cause I got a Skinny Soul.'

Derek hadn't talked to Stiles in weeks, not properly at least. A part of Stiles wished he'd just kept his big mouth shut. He and Derek had been making progress, they almost been friends! Almost. Now Stiles had ruined everything, he supposed. But he didn't regret telling, or showing, Derek how he felt and he wasn't giving up on them just yet. Like his mother said, the greatest love is the one worth fighting for. This was worth fighting for, to Stiles at least. He knew it would be for Derek too eventually. Deep down Stiles knew that Derek shared the feelings Stiles felt, but he just didn't believe he was worthy of love. He didn't think he deserved it. But Stiles would prove him wrong, it may not be easy and it would take him a while, but Stiles would make Derek believe again. He would make him believe in himself and make him believe in love. In the premise that he could love and be loved. Stiles would make him believe again, even if it was the last thing he did. 

"You okay man?" Scott asked and Stiles looked up at his best friend. He still had no idea what had happened between Derek and Stiles, he just knew that they were being even less civil to each other than before. Well, Derek was anyway.  


"I'm fine." Stiles said with a smile. Stiles knew Scott knew he'd just lied to him but Scott let it go. Over the past few weeks he and Stiles had established a need-to-know basis on their friendship, but that was mainly so Stiles could stop being nauseated at the Scott/Allison talk.  


"All right. Well Derek, Isaac, Erica, Boyd and Allison are going to meet us out at Derek’s place to see if we can figure something out for the whole Kanima situation. You want to come?”  


Stiles hesitated. He’d said he’d wanted to fight for Derek right? That meant having to see him sometime. It meant he had to try and talk to him, to communicate with him and work things out... right? Stiles sighed. He doubted it would be easy, but since when were things with Derek ever easy? “Yeah, I’m in.” Stiles said and Scott smiled.  


“Okay. I’ll meet you in the car park after school and then we’ll go over.” Scott said with a smile. Stiles resisted the urge to roll his eyes. That was just his best friend’s way of saying that Stiles driving.  


“Yeah sure.” Stiles breathed and then the bell ran and Scott left the table, no doubt to secretly squeeze in some make out time with Allison before the final bell rang. Stiles stood up and sighed. Since when had his best friend’s love life, even when he was secretly dating the Werewolf Hunter’s daughter, become easier than his?  
___  
Everyone was already at Derek’s house by the time Stiles and Scott arrived and Stiles knew Derek was slightly pissed about having to wait on them. Well tough shit. Stiles thought bitterly as he greeted them all with his usual witty humour. No one seemed impressed though, least of all Derek who seemed like he was now trying desperately not to look in Stiles’ direction. “So, what are we doing about the freaky Kanima?” Stiles asked and no one said a thing.  


Isaac cleared his throat. “We were actually hoping you could help with that. You’ve been pretty on point with everything so far.”  


“Oh have I?” Stiles remarked and then looked to his best friend for help. Scott was saying nothing. He just looked at Stiles with his big dark eyes and Stiles had a feeling he had already known about this.  


“Well, I don’t know.” Stiles sighed and looked around, “I have no idea how to stop it or how to save Jackson from being the Kanima...” He trailed off and looked at Derek. As much as he hated to admit it Derek was right, “I think the only thing we can do is kill him, although I don’t really know how to do that either.”  
Derek was looking at Stiles now. It was like he couldn’t believe Stiles had actually agreed with him on this. Stiles couldn’t say anything else. The greyish green stare Derek was giving him now made his mouth dry, his palms sweaty and his heart rate increase embarrassingly. Derek looked away and Stiles tried to get himself under control and remember that he was in the presence of multiple Werewolves.  
  
“But -” Scott began and then sighed, seeming oblivious to the silent scene that just happened right in front of him. It soon became apparent that not even Scott could argue. He probably would’ve attempted to if it was anyone other than Stiles, but because the verdict had come from Stiles all did was sigh in resignation and drop his head. “Okay. If we can’t save him then we’ll have to kill him. We can’t let him keep killing people.”  


Derek nodded, “But we can’t kill the Kanima yet. We’re not strong enough. We need to train first, come up with a plan a way to get it weak enough to kill. Do the hunters have any leads?” He turned to Allison and Stiles tried not to let the fact that Derek was ignoring him again get to him.  


Allison shook her head and her brown eyes were sad, “I’m sorry but no. Besides even if they did I don’t think they trust me enough to share them with me.”  


Derek nodded again and looked around. Then he looked to the sky, the night was dark and the air was beginning to get chilly. “Well there isn’t much we can do tonight, feel free to leave when you want.” He said and then turned and walked into his house.  
  
Scott ran straight to Allison and Erica, Isaac and Boyd were all talking intently to each other. No one even remembered Stiles was there, no one noticed him at all. This was his chance. He thought numbly as he looked around. Allison and Scott were kissing now, Erica, Isaac and Boyd were walking off into the woods so they didn’t have to look at the spectacle Allison and Scott were making and Stiles was standing there like an idiot. He swallowed hard and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. His heart was hammering hard as he walked past the oblivious couple and into Derek’s house.  
__  
It was burnt out from the fire and Stiles had never been in further than the front room but that didn’t stop him. He walked through the house until he found the room that must be Derek’s bedroom. He tried to force the memories of what happened last time he was in the house from his head as he knocked on the bedroom door.  
“What?” Derek’s voice asked, only slightly muffled by the door.  


“Derek, its Stiles. Can I come in?” Stiles asked timidly slowly losing his resolve. He just kept reminding himself that this was worth fighting for and to not take no for an answer.  


“No.” Derek growled but Stiles pushed the door open anyway.  
  


“Jesus Stiles!” Derek shouted and hastily pulled his shirt on. “I said no!”  


“I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were getting changed, I just thought you didn’t want to talk to me.” Stiles said looking away from Derek, knowing his cheeks were flaming red.  


“Why wouldn’t I want to talk to you?” Derek asked and Stiles looked up immediately.  


“Oh come on!” He half shouted and half groaned. Was Derek fucking serious right now? “You’re not going to pretend like it didn’t happen Derek. Okay? We kissed, and you liked it just as much as I did.”  


“You want to lower your voice right now Stilinski? If you hadn’t noticed there’s a whole Werewolf pack outside. One of which is Scott and somehow I don’t think he’d be too happy if he knew you kissed me.”  


“I don’t care what Scott thinks.” Stiles growled and thought it was funny how much like a wolf he sounded just then, “I don’t care what anyone thinks Derek.” He said before he stepped forward. Derek just stared at him in some sort of strange fascination and wonder before he let Stiles press his lips against his.  
  
Derek grabbed Stiles’ waist before he knew what he was doing and he pulled the other boy closer to himself. Stiles wrapped his legs around Derek’s waist and Derek picked Stiles up and put him on the bed. To say things were escalating quickly was an understatement but Derek just couldn’t control himself. No matter how much he knew he didn’t deserve this, Stiles made him feel something. He made him feel something other than emptiness and hate. Derek liked the way Stiles made him feel, the warmth he brought to him, but he knew he didn’t deserve it. It was because of him, because of his love, that his whole family is dead. The death of his family members was on his hands and he knew deep down that he didn’t deserve to be happy. Not when they were dead. So with that he pushed Stiles away from him, gently this time, and stood up. 

“I’m sorry.” Derek said and turned his back to Stiles. “I can’t do this.”  


“Why not?” Stiles panted sitting up on the bed. His voice was hoarse and Derek took a deep breath to calm himself.  


“Because I’m not interested in you, not like that. I was just confused then, you know? It’s been a while since anyone has tried anything like that with me.”  


“I don’t believe you.” Stiles said and Derek could tell that the other boy was up off the bed.  


“It’s the truth.” Derek said in his best, I-don’t-care voice.  


“No it’s not. You know it as well as I do. I don’t need to hear your heartbeat to know your lying to me right now Derek, and I won’t give up. I won’t give up on us.”  


“There is no us.” Derek replied quietly, even though it killed him. Good, he thought, this was what he deserved.  


“Isn’t there?” Stiles asked and Derek could hear the resilient note in his voice, “Because that’s not what it felt like just then. You may not think of us as an ‘us’, but I do Derek and I won’t give up on you. Okay? I’m not giving up on you.” Derek didn’t say anything; he knew right now he was just fuelling Stiles’ resolution.  


“I’m sorry Stiles.” Derek said quietly as Stiles left the room. Derek didn’t know if Stiles had heard him, but if he had Stiles didn’t reply. Derek laid back on his bed and took a deep breath. Misery was settling in his heart and Derek smiled faintly. He was used to being in pain, it suited him, and it was what he deserved. He deserved to be alone, to live in this house of rubble that represented him so perfectly. After all, he was just as broken as it was.  
___  
Stiles couldn’t sleep that night. All he could think about was the feeling of Derek’s body pressed against his, the feeling of Derek’s mouth moving in synchrony with his own. He couldn’t help it when his mind went past that and detailed what would’ve happened in that bedroom had Derek not rejected him when he did. Well it was hot to say the least and Stiles couldn’t control the moan that escaped him when he thought of Derek’s hands on his... and something else it reminded him of. He couldn’t place what it was and it was bugging him more than anything else. But Stiles couldn’t concentrate on that for long. Stiles looked up to his window when he heard a noise to see Isaac Lachey sitting on Stiles’ windowsill giving him a smug smile.  
  
“I can come back later if you want?” He asked and leaned forward a little so he could see Stiles in bed.  


“Jesus!” Stiles gasped and sat up, “How long have you been there for?” Stiles asked and Isaac’s smile became impossibly more smug.  


“Long enough.” The other boy replied his blue eyes intense, “So can I come in or are you going to make me sit here all night?”  


“I’m going to make you sit there.” Stiles retorted icily and Isaac laughed. He launched himself through the window and into Stiles’ room. Stiles rolled his eyes and collapsed back into his bed. “What do you want Isaac?”  


“Nothing in particular. I just came to see how you were doing after your little ‘run in’ with the Alpha.”  


“You know about that?” Stiles exclaimed as he sat up in bed. He then froze as the sound of his father’s muffled snores broke off. “Closet!” He hissed to Isaac and Isaac had just made it in the door when Stiles’ father walked into the room. 

“Are you alright?” Stiles father asked groggily. “I thought I heard a noise.”  


“Yeah, I just woke up from a dream.” Stiles said with a shrug.  


His father’s brow furrowed in worry. “Another nightmare?” He asked with a small sigh and Stiles nodded. “You still don’t know what they’re about?”  


Stiles shook his head, “No. I wake up terrified and I still don’t know why.” He replied, which was true although that’s not what happened tonight.  


Stiles’ father sighed again, “I’ll make another appointment with your counsellor in the morning, maybe she can prescribe some medication or something that will help you sleep better.”  


Stiles nodded even though he knew it wouldn’t do any good. No amount of medication would make the strange dreams leave him, no matter how much they gave him. They never had.  


“Okay... Well, try to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”  


“Night Dad.” Stiles whispered before his dad closed his door and walked away. Isaac waited until he and Stiles heard Stiles’ dad’s snores start up again before he moved from the closet and propped himself on the side of Stiles’ bed.  
__  
“So, you have nightmares?” Isaac asked seeming to forget the topic of their earlier conversation, that suited Stiles just fine but he wished Isaac had found something else to fixate on.  


Stiles just shrugged, “I’ve had them since my mother died. I don’t remember much of what happened during that time, my shrink says it’s because the memories are too painful.” He swallowed hard, “All I know is that I can’t remember what happens in the dreams, only that they’re bad and I always wake up feeling terrified and alone.” He swallowed again, he’d never told this to anyone other than his shrink, Scott and his father. Having someone like Isaac here listening to this, well it scared him. “My shrink also says that the dreams are the memories I’ve been repressing and that my subconscious is trying to dredge them back up again. The only reason I can’t remember them is because it’s still too painful.”  


“Is she right?” Isaac asked his expression thoughtful.  


Stiles shrugged again, “I don’t know. All I know is that no one else has any other answers and even medication won’t make it go away, so what else is there for us to believe?”  
  
“I’m sorry.” Isaac said and Stiles knew he meant it. The look in Isaac’s eyes almost made Stiles wish the conversation had stayed on Derek. The silence stretched on between them before Isaac decided to speak, “So... what’s going on with you and Derek?”  
  
“Nothing apparently.” Stiles said bitterly.  
  
“Really?” Isaac said with a raise of his eyebrows, “Because that’s not what it seemed like to me. You know just because Erica and Boyd and Scott and Allison get preoccupied with each other doesn’t mean no one is listening.”  
  
“I didn’t think anyone noticed me.” Stiles said as if it should be obvious and Isaac arched his eyebrows.  
  
“I’ll always notice you Stiles.” Isaac said before he pressed their lips together.


End file.
